Today I went to a "networking" "event" hosted by Carleton. I encapsulate these words in quotes because neither of them would have been used to describe an event like this twenty years ago. I wasn't clear on what this was. It really was just a fancy dress party, except instead of dancing, everyone was drinking and looking for a job. (I was the only one in the room who got carded.) One guy told the story of how he did hardcore "networking" by calling two alumni every day until he had a good investing job. I talked with a Kenyon alumna who worked at a nonprofit journal. She told me that with a liberal arts major, you wouldn't get very far writing for love, so to get a job without joining a corporation you'd need to latch on to some well-funded movement. And to get hired by a well-funded movement, you need contacts. It's stunning to think of how the counterculture has become another social club with "networking" as the entrance examination.
I know two people who would have been called counterculture in the 60s. They were in an indie band in high school and were devoted to music as a way of life and not just a hobby. One of them no longer plays music-- perhaps a of recognition of modern cultural nihilism. The other, with the benefit of well-connected parents, networked his way onto an indie label.
The counterculture as the Beat Generation and Boomers knew it was always an artifice. It could not have existed without a liberal society that provided room, board, and soapboxes. Yet it was, at the same time, energized by something that was not a brand or a set of rules. Out of the blue, my friend's mom described to me what it was like to drive through Georgetown in the 60s, where anti-war rallies often closed the streets. There were people sitting on the sidewalks, wearing whatever was hip, openly smoking pot and handing out flowers to the drivers and passengers. A librarian at Carleton told me stories about how back-to-nature adventurers in upstate Minnesota would share the copy of the Whole Earth Catalog at the library, since they didn't have the pocket change to buy their own copy. Merely by rejecting the norm, these people became memorable to those they encountered. Believe it or not, "hippie" was not a brand they had decided to apply to themselves but a legitimate ad-hoc creation.
Adorno writes about the culture industry as an inevitable process. The existence of mass culture creates reification (the changing out of a passion for a brand). True music is an experience without a name, that cannot be bought or sold. Brand-name music-- 50 Cent, the Backstreet Boys, the first eight bars of Beethoven's 5th-- is not an experience but a commodity, meant to be associated with some other kind of knowledge about the context of the song or the individuals involved in its production. Mass culture created the opportunity for a mass counterculture, but only temporarily. Since anyone can reify a cultural artifact, counterculture was quickly consumed by political and commercial use. This led to punk, which aimed to be a movement resistant to commercial exploitation. Already the goal of the counterculture had been downgraded from transformation to resistance, but this was also consumed. Subsequent movements were on a lesser and lesser scale, until finally we arrive at the modern "indie" subculture which glorified the unsanded, unpolished ugliness that commerce and politics were wary of putting their hands on. If you judge the counterculture by the strength of its response to the mainstream, indie is pitiful. It is purposefully below-par in its output, subservient or nihilistic in its outlook, and weak-willed and twee in defense of itself. The bare qualification for whether something is "indie" is resisting "selling out": that is to say, whether an artist prevents his production from merging with the mass culture. This absurd cat-and-mouse game might be kept up for a few more years, but after Napoleon Dynamite the cause is clearly hopeless.
It occurs to me, reading the Adbusters article "Hipsters: The Dead End of Western Civilization", that there is nowhere to go from here. People are spending their weekends superficially pretending that they are still part of the cool and have not merged with the mainstream, when they clearly have. The consumption of indie counterculture means the last barrier has been knocked down and now anything that can be created is automatically considered mass culture, just with a varying amount of popularity. The Internet makes the mass culture participatory and allows happy, compliant consumers to define their own meaningless subcultures. Reification is ubiquitous; even Adbusters cannot seem to imagine a world without it, and they have proposed their meager "Blackspot" brand as a way to "culture jam" brands that represent a less progressive way of living. Instead of fighting the idea which the brand stands for, the children who imagine themselves to carry on the counterculture are hurling stones at the brand.
What exactly will happen in the next ten years? It kind of makes you wish that civilization does come grinding to a halt. To say that the purpose of civilization is to manufacture consumer products, or make life comfortable, is not utilitarian: it is actually ignorance of what truly provides utility to people. True, everyone wants a certain amount of financial stability. But that is because it makes life more beautiful to be free of financial worries. If beauty is sucked out of life by the mass culture, turning music, art, and language into a set of "memes" which have no meaning by themselves, then civilization is actually taking us downhill.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Barney Frank's Marijuana Bill
Today I had the great opportunity to sit in on a House press conference. Barney Frank was introducing a bill to decriminalize marijuana at the federal level. Statements were read by two members of the Congressional Black Caucus, NORML, the MPP, and the Drug Policy Alliance. Were it not for Barney's constant quipping it would be a serious affair.
On the right you can see the CNN camera. (NOTE: MSNBC, FOX, and the other networks did not show up. The only other TV network besides CNN was HD News. The Raw Story did have a reporter there.) I don't know if the conference was broadcast live, but you can watch it online at CNN.com. Instead, I will quote you some of the flippant ad-libbing he did in between speakers:
"Given the effects of marijuana use, it seems like denying people access to food stamps is unusually harsh."
"I'd say the chances of this bill passing [this year] are not high."
"I do obey every law I vote for... no, seriously, I don't smoke marijuana myself. I do smoke cigars."
"There was one Presidential candidate who got a lot of popular support and supported legalization, and that was... Ron Paul." [Paul is one of the cosponsors of the bill.] "I think we'll end here."
As we were heading out the door, a sketchy-looking man in a tweed suit handed me a pamphlet from the Office of National Drug Control Policy. The title is "Marijuana: The Greatest Cause of Illegal Drug Abuse." It appears to have been released the day before Barney's press conference on purpose, but in terms of "striking back" it is hilariously awful. I am not exaggerating at all, go ahead and click on that link and see what evidence you can find for prohibition. The entire pamphlet contains only 500 words or so (and ~50 disjointed graphs), making the quest for rationality difficult, but their argument seems to run as follows:
UPDATE
Barney will be interviewed on CNN at 2:45PM EST [not 3:45, sorry]. Tune in and watch! The interview was shown at 2:30PM. I like the part where they said "just moments ago"-- it was recorded at 1:15!
UPDATE 2
We've received roughly two dozen calls in support of this bill, and zero against.
"Given the effects of marijuana use, it seems like denying people access to food stamps is unusually harsh."
"I'd say the chances of this bill passing [this year] are not high."
"I do obey every law I vote for... no, seriously, I don't smoke marijuana myself. I do smoke cigars."
"There was one Presidential candidate who got a lot of popular support and supported legalization, and that was... Ron Paul." [Paul is one of the cosponsors of the bill.] "I think we'll end here."
As we were heading out the door, a sketchy-looking man in a tweed suit handed me a pamphlet from the Office of National Drug Control Policy. The title is "Marijuana: The Greatest Cause of Illegal Drug Abuse." It appears to have been released the day before Barney's press conference on purpose, but in terms of "striking back" it is hilariously awful. I am not exaggerating at all, go ahead and click on that link and see what evidence you can find for prohibition. The entire pamphlet contains only 500 words or so (and ~50 disjointed graphs), making the quest for rationality difficult, but their argument seems to run as follows:
- Marijuana is illegal.
- Therefore, it is abused.
- Therefore, it should remain illegal.
UPDATE
UPDATE 2
We've received roughly two dozen calls in support of this bill, and zero against.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Undercover in the Depths of ZOG
One thing you'll notice about Capitol Hill if you ever visit for an extended period of time is that there are a lot of Jews here. I could not tell you why this is true, but it is. I'd say they outnumber the evangelical Christians. It's not like I can recognize Jews on sight, but there are telltale signs: yarmulkes, Jewfros, Israeli flags, Stars of David, and most prominently, AIPAC stickers.
Today I saw AIPAC was holding its final Summer Seminar. This one was featuring Joshua Bolten, the chief of staff of a little-known office called the White House. You'd think he'd be a little too busy to talk to interns, but it makes sense, because Bolten is Jewish.
Except it doesn't. My knowledge of the Jewish religion comes from my mother's mother ("this steak is to die for!"), her mother's mother (as related to me in stories), and the Rugrats Hanukkah Special. As far as I know, Judaism is about following the commandments of God, remembering the history of the Jewish people, and spinning a menorah every winter. I am absolutely bewildered by the religious belief, which I have only begun to encounter as I meet new people in college, that Judaism has something to do with staking a claim in the physical place called Israel. But apparently this is not only a major part of Judaism, but so important to the upkeep of the United States that one of the only times Obama donned a flag lapel pin was to demonstrate dual loyalty.
This seems absurd to me. Shouldn't America be the only loyalty of a Presidential candidate? I thought this is what the flag-waving Republicans are all about. Yet a message which would be political doomsday if any other country was on that pin (America/France?) is completely non-notable when it's Israel. To investigate the origin of this political compulsion, I went to this AIPAC seminar in the fancy-schmancy Ronald Reagan building.
There were maybe five or six yarmulkes... in an audience of over 600, and no Jewfros. There was a 1:1 ratio of men to women, a wide variety of colors and even some Arab faces-- a surprisingly diverse crowd for "America's Israel lobby." They all dressed and sounded like future Israel lobbyists; the college students making the introductions on stage proudly announced they were "diamond" AIPAC members which I assume will take them to great places in the future. I looked around for indications that this was actually a Republican rally, but I could find none. "Are all these people really here to support AIPAC?" I asked the guy sitting next to me. "Oh yeah, I'd say they have to be. Why are you here?" he asked. I demurred.
The talk itself was off the record. I was planning to violate that off-the-record promise but he didn't say anything too exciting anyway. Bush's plan for Israel, in case you didn't know, was a two-state solution with a Roadmap to Peace for both parties. Bush is proud to be the Decider and he's confident he will be remembered well by history. These facts come from a vague mish-mash of ideas in my head and I do not attribute them to anyone, least of all our off-the-record speaker.
Why is the continuing existence of Israel as an exclusively Jewish state so important, then? Well, here's one theme I heard: the Holocaust. Then why isn't there a Roma state in India? And why don't the Jews just come here to the USA? We're the most free and diverse country in the world, and any evidence of racial or ethnic hatred at this point in our nation's history is a cause for the entire country to denounce and reject. My great-great-great-grandparents immigrated here before that was even the case, and I don't see why what was best for them shouldn't be best for everyone else as well.
Okay, I didn't really get any of my questions answered, even though AIPAC committed itself to promoting a "dialogue." I really wanted to ask the guy what was so great about the two-state solution, but at an event paid for by AIPAC, that would just be rude. South Africa didn't deserve the privilege of a two-state solution in 1989, and I don't see any reason why Israel should be different in that regard. But maybe I'm making some people uncomfortable, so I'll stop here.
There was no secret meeting or conspiracy. The Republican speaker was very earnest, and the audience was extremely polite and self-critical. The cause just didn't make any sense. America is weird sometimes.
Today I saw AIPAC was holding its final Summer Seminar. This one was featuring Joshua Bolten, the chief of staff of a little-known office called the White House. You'd think he'd be a little too busy to talk to interns, but it makes sense, because Bolten is Jewish.
Except it doesn't. My knowledge of the Jewish religion comes from my mother's mother ("this steak is to die for!"), her mother's mother (as related to me in stories), and the Rugrats Hanukkah Special. As far as I know, Judaism is about following the commandments of God, remembering the history of the Jewish people, and spinning a menorah every winter. I am absolutely bewildered by the religious belief, which I have only begun to encounter as I meet new people in college, that Judaism has something to do with staking a claim in the physical place called Israel. But apparently this is not only a major part of Judaism, but so important to the upkeep of the United States that one of the only times Obama donned a flag lapel pin was to demonstrate dual loyalty.
This seems absurd to me. Shouldn't America be the only loyalty of a Presidential candidate? I thought this is what the flag-waving Republicans are all about. Yet a message which would be political doomsday if any other country was on that pin (America/France?) is completely non-notable when it's Israel. To investigate the origin of this political compulsion, I went to this AIPAC seminar in the fancy-schmancy Ronald Reagan building.
There were maybe five or six yarmulkes... in an audience of over 600, and no Jewfros. There was a 1:1 ratio of men to women, a wide variety of colors and even some Arab faces-- a surprisingly diverse crowd for "America's Israel lobby." They all dressed and sounded like future Israel lobbyists; the college students making the introductions on stage proudly announced they were "diamond" AIPAC members which I assume will take them to great places in the future. I looked around for indications that this was actually a Republican rally, but I could find none. "Are all these people really here to support AIPAC?" I asked the guy sitting next to me. "Oh yeah, I'd say they have to be. Why are you here?" he asked. I demurred.
The talk itself was off the record. I was planning to violate that off-the-record promise but he didn't say anything too exciting anyway. Bush's plan for Israel, in case you didn't know, was a two-state solution with a Roadmap to Peace for both parties. Bush is proud to be the Decider and he's confident he will be remembered well by history. These facts come from a vague mish-mash of ideas in my head and I do not attribute them to anyone, least of all our off-the-record speaker.
Why is the continuing existence of Israel as an exclusively Jewish state so important, then? Well, here's one theme I heard: the Holocaust. Then why isn't there a Roma state in India? And why don't the Jews just come here to the USA? We're the most free and diverse country in the world, and any evidence of racial or ethnic hatred at this point in our nation's history is a cause for the entire country to denounce and reject. My great-great-great-grandparents immigrated here before that was even the case, and I don't see why what was best for them shouldn't be best for everyone else as well.
Okay, I didn't really get any of my questions answered, even though AIPAC committed itself to promoting a "dialogue." I really wanted to ask the guy what was so great about the two-state solution, but at an event paid for by AIPAC, that would just be rude. South Africa didn't deserve the privilege of a two-state solution in 1989, and I don't see any reason why Israel should be different in that regard. But maybe I'm making some people uncomfortable, so I'll stop here.
There was no secret meeting or conspiracy. The Republican speaker was very earnest, and the audience was extremely polite and self-critical. The cause just didn't make any sense. America is weird sometimes.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Newseum and Colin Powell
Yesterday I decided I hadn't watched enough television this week and I needed to chillax with some infotainment. So I ponied up $20 for the Newseum. The best part of the Newseum is its proximity to the Capitol. The First Amendment is engraved in six-story-tall letters on the outside of the building, visible from the Capitol (with binoculars). From one of the staircases you can see a transparent view of the Hill.
The rest of the Newseum is so glitzy it makes the Spy Museum look formal and stuffy, which says a lot. On the fifth floor there is a display of five hundred years of real newspapers which you can pull out and read, with tchochkes and video attacking you from the walls. Don't be afraid about spending too much time on this floor because it is by far the most interesting exhibit. The rest of the museum is pretty much fluff. A big amount of it is a tribute to the civil rights movement, which became famous because it was so well-covered by Northern media. But a strictly enforced Baby Boomer cultural amnesia persists: the abolitionist, labor, Cuban War, and temperance movements were also heavily assisted by the press, but these are pretty much ignored, probably because they can't be translated into multimedia extravaganzas. You will note on the third floor, in the First Amendment exhibit, a picture of Prohibition protesters carrying signs reading "We Want Beer." This is the tip of the iceberg of a rich history of news culture and events which are simply ignored here. Who is Pulitzer, and why did he have a prize named after him? If this is discussed anywhere in the Newseum, I missed it. Instead, they have a live television studio (finally, you can fulfill your dream of being part of a studio audience!), a control room behind a glass wall, pieces of the Berlin Wall and the Twin Towers, an event where you can be a fake TV reporter for $5, and a lot of other foolishness. I was somewhat absent-mindedly looking for a mention of The Hidden History of the Korean War or Howard Zinn, but of course these are not mentioned because they are part of a different media culture entirely. I do appreciate that the much-ignored African-American press was integrated into the fifth-floor exhibit, which I returned to after wandering bemused through the rest of the museum.
In the basement there was an exhibit on the FBI in the news, which was mostly informative. Did you know that the FBI cooperated fully with NYT and WaPo during the Unabomber case, and gave them full discretion over whether to publish his universally unread Manifesto? There's press freedom in action. Unfortunately, the exhibit whitewashes the FBI's attempts to squash the civil rights movement. It's given a vague mention, but the exhibit mainly pretends that J. Edgar Hoover and MLK were best buddies.
This morning I remembered that Colin Powell was speaking and rushed to Cannon to find the room. The room was overflowing with interns, who all pulled out their cameras when the general walked in. He talked to us for some time about his faith in democracy, the challenges of the future, education and so forth. He then took questions. I wanted to ask him what he thought about the Yoo memorandum but I was too far back. You might think that this is a vague thing to ask such an important person-- I'm sure Wesley would have far better questions-- but I've learned from experience that the questions I'm thinking of are above average. Here are some example questions that unfortunate intelligent people got asked by interns:
- So, Mr. Prime Minister, I heard you like Elvis.
- Oh, Elvis? I love Elvis!
- Did you know that I knew Elvis?
- You knew Elvis?
- I served with Elvis in Germany. I was a lieutenant and he was a sergeant.
- You knew Elvis??
- And I'm telling you, Mr. Prime Minister... he's still alive!
This ugly cell phone picture is reified proof that I saw Colin Powell speak.
The rest of the Newseum is so glitzy it makes the Spy Museum look formal and stuffy, which says a lot. On the fifth floor there is a display of five hundred years of real newspapers which you can pull out and read, with tchochkes and video attacking you from the walls. Don't be afraid about spending too much time on this floor because it is by far the most interesting exhibit. The rest of the museum is pretty much fluff. A big amount of it is a tribute to the civil rights movement, which became famous because it was so well-covered by Northern media. But a strictly enforced Baby Boomer cultural amnesia persists: the abolitionist, labor, Cuban War, and temperance movements were also heavily assisted by the press, but these are pretty much ignored, probably because they can't be translated into multimedia extravaganzas. You will note on the third floor, in the First Amendment exhibit, a picture of Prohibition protesters carrying signs reading "We Want Beer." This is the tip of the iceberg of a rich history of news culture and events which are simply ignored here. Who is Pulitzer, and why did he have a prize named after him? If this is discussed anywhere in the Newseum, I missed it. Instead, they have a live television studio (finally, you can fulfill your dream of being part of a studio audience!), a control room behind a glass wall, pieces of the Berlin Wall and the Twin Towers, an event where you can be a fake TV reporter for $5, and a lot of other foolishness. I was somewhat absent-mindedly looking for a mention of The Hidden History of the Korean War or Howard Zinn, but of course these are not mentioned because they are part of a different media culture entirely. I do appreciate that the much-ignored African-American press was integrated into the fifth-floor exhibit, which I returned to after wandering bemused through the rest of the museum.
In the basement there was an exhibit on the FBI in the news, which was mostly informative. Did you know that the FBI cooperated fully with NYT and WaPo during the Unabomber case, and gave them full discretion over whether to publish his universally unread Manifesto? There's press freedom in action. Unfortunately, the exhibit whitewashes the FBI's attempts to squash the civil rights movement. It's given a vague mention, but the exhibit mainly pretends that J. Edgar Hoover and MLK were best buddies.
This morning I remembered that Colin Powell was speaking and rushed to Cannon to find the room. The room was overflowing with interns, who all pulled out their cameras when the general walked in. He talked to us for some time about his faith in democracy, the challenges of the future, education and so forth. He then took questions. I wanted to ask him what he thought about the Yoo memorandum but I was too far back. You might think that this is a vague thing to ask such an important person-- I'm sure Wesley would have far better questions-- but I've learned from experience that the questions I'm thinking of are above average. Here are some example questions that unfortunate intelligent people got asked by interns:
- (to Chuck Hagel) If Barack Obama offered you the vice presidential nomination, would you take it?
- (to Barney Frank) How many seats do you think the Dems will pick up this year?
- (to both Hagel and Frank) Do you have any advice for people who want to go into politics?
- (to Powell, as had I expected) How do you think President Bush will be remembered by history?
- So, Mr. Prime Minister, I heard you like Elvis.
- Oh, Elvis? I love Elvis!
- Did you know that I knew Elvis?
- You knew Elvis?
- I served with Elvis in Germany. I was a lieutenant and he was a sergeant.
- You knew Elvis??
- And I'm telling you, Mr. Prime Minister... he's still alive!
This ugly cell phone picture is reified proof that I saw Colin Powell speak.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Chinatown
Today I was still feeling down for learning how stupid I am and and how much I need other people. There is a girl in town who has been nice to me. I invited her to go to Chinatown with me. We went together and had a wonderful lunch at Ruby Tuesday's. It's difficult to express how relieved I feel.
Perhaps I should explain the apparent contradiction of Ruby Tuesday's in Chinatown. The DC Chinatown is really a joke. Next to the fancy Chinese gate you can go to Fuddruckers or Starbucks. Some of the businesses make a halfhearted attempt at Chinese translation.
Others do a superb job and look more Chinese than the real thing, but unfortunately, Legal Sea Foods isn't a Chinese restaurant no matter how hard they try.
Afterwards we went to Radio Shack and I bought some headphones, then we wandered around. There was a bootleg DVD shop that looked awesome but was actually really creepy. Maybe it was a front for the Triad. We also visited a custom seal shop and talked to its Chinese artist-owner who knew English very well but couldn't pronounce it at all. I'm not sure if he understood how little of what he was saying was getting across. His art was really beautiful, though.
We still had an hour left before Hellboy. We went to the theater to buy tickets and saw that The Dark Knight was about to start. I already saw that movie but my friend really wanted to see it. Seeing her expression, I changed my mind and decided to watch it again with her. I guess I haven't learned my lesson at all. Maybe asserting yourself is how you get up in the world, but I really don't want to do that. I just want to make my friends happy.
I had a wonderful afternoon. When I got home I caught a little bit of the Prairie Home Companion, then I plugged in my headphones and listened to my Pandora station. And you know what? Joanna Newsom is the best kind of therapy. God, keep it up, Joanna.
Perhaps I should explain the apparent contradiction of Ruby Tuesday's in Chinatown. The DC Chinatown is really a joke. Next to the fancy Chinese gate you can go to Fuddruckers or Starbucks. Some of the businesses make a halfhearted attempt at Chinese translation.
We still had an hour left before Hellboy. We went to the theater to buy tickets and saw that The Dark Knight was about to start. I already saw that movie but my friend really wanted to see it. Seeing her expression, I changed my mind and decided to watch it again with her. I guess I haven't learned my lesson at all. Maybe asserting yourself is how you get up in the world, but I really don't want to do that. I just want to make my friends happy.
I had a wonderful afternoon. When I got home I caught a little bit of the Prairie Home Companion, then I plugged in my headphones and listened to my Pandora station. And you know what? Joanna Newsom is the best kind of therapy. God, keep it up, Joanna.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Why I am the worst person ever
I just gave $85 to a smelly, lying homeless man.
I want to kill myself. Keeeeeeeeelllll myself. But instead I will tell the story, so you can laugh at my idiocy.
I was walking back from dinner with two friends, wearing a Domo-kun shirt with a bottle of ramune rattling in my backpack. Apparently I looked like the most naive person in all of DC. On an empty street, in the dark, I was approached by a homeless man with horrible teeth and a bad smell. "Hey," he said, "I need some help."
I put my hand in my wallet, prepared to give him some change. "Hey, don't do that, man," he said. "I just need some directions. Do you know where 2700 Pennsylvania Avenue is?"
"Yeah, I guess...?"
He sat down on the curb. "That's where the Salvation Army building is. I just got out of the hospital but the Salvation Army doesn't open until Tuesday. I got no one in this city, man. NO ONE."
"I just got back from dinner. I only got 5 bucks, man."
"No no no! I'm not talking about that. While I was in the hospital they told me my mother was dying. I need bus tickets to go see her. It'll be a 16 hour ride, man. It's just $16 for the tickets."
"Look, I can give you $5."
"No no no! I'm not talking about that. I NEED to see my mom, man. I got a black widow bite this big, look at this." He pulled off his shoe and I saw a big cut on his leg and a bloody sock. "It went all through my leg, and I had to go to the hospital. Now I got to see my mother immediately."
"Do you want me to show you where the bus stop is?"
"No no no! I'm not talking about that. I'm a Christian, man. I'll pay you back. Just give me your information and I'll send you a gift card on the 29th."
"Well, what do you want me to do? I can take you to an ATM..."
Why did I say this? At this point I was not even thinking. When I am talking people I do not make judgment calls about how smart the thing is that I'm saying. I'm just trying to solve a problem, or some shit like that. Anyway, now this guy lights up and jumps off of the curb. "YEAH! You'll see, I just need to borrow $21. I'm a Christian, man, you can trust me."
Somewhere in the back of my head, I make a note that this number is larger than the previous number. Barely. But now this guy is walking with me, looking for an ATM.
"The Salvation Army office doesn't open until Tuesday, and I got to see her today. My mom's the only one I got, man. Look, here's my card." He hands me a dirty businesss card he found on the street. "Here, just write down your address on this paper here and I'll send you a gift card by the 29th." Like a dope, I do so. I remind myself that my GWU dorm is behind two locked doors, and I'll be out of there by August 11. "Look, the 12 hour train ride costs $69, and the 16 hour one is $49... but I got a $20 card, see, I can pay for some of it myself." I see we're getting closer to my apartment. I look for a clearing, see if I can make a break for it. But the street is empty. It seems out of the question now.
Finally he shows me in to an ATM. "So, how much did you say this bus ticket was?" I ask nervously, quite aware that he's about to give me a huge number. "$20?"
"It's $80, man. But look, you can trust me, okay? I'll send you $100 gift card. Just check your mail on the 29th, it'll be there."
"I don't know if I can trust you, man. I don't even know if this card is yours. It doesn't have your picture on it or anything." The weakest possible argument: he is a smelly, bearded, obviously homeless man.
"Come on, man. I'm a Christian, alright? I'll get it back to you. I promise."
I look out the window. It's pitch black and there's nobody on the street. This man is bigger, and stronger, than me. I am the biggest dope in the history of mankind. I withdraw $80 and give it to him. "Okay, I trust you, man," I said, looking him in the eye. "I trust you."
This seems completely surreal, even though it only happened 40 minutes ago. It seems like a really horrible movie. I want to pretend this didn't actually happen. But yet, here is the fake business card, and here is the receipt for $80 withdrawn. I really am the worst person ever.
I walk out the door, in a hurry to get away, and he says, "Oh, and I'll need that $5. For cab fare." The guy takes my last $5 and walks calmly down the street.
I walk southwest in a daze. As soon as he is out of earshot I start yelling obscenities into the night.
EDIT I just realized the reason I was walking through DC in the dark is because I thought I could save 40 cents on train fare by walking home from a farther stop. Ahahahahahahahhahaha
I want to kill myself. Keeeeeeeeelllll myself. But instead I will tell the story, so you can laugh at my idiocy.
I was walking back from dinner with two friends, wearing a Domo-kun shirt with a bottle of ramune rattling in my backpack. Apparently I looked like the most naive person in all of DC. On an empty street, in the dark, I was approached by a homeless man with horrible teeth and a bad smell. "Hey," he said, "I need some help."
I put my hand in my wallet, prepared to give him some change. "Hey, don't do that, man," he said. "I just need some directions. Do you know where 2700 Pennsylvania Avenue is?"
"Yeah, I guess...?"
He sat down on the curb. "That's where the Salvation Army building is. I just got out of the hospital but the Salvation Army doesn't open until Tuesday. I got no one in this city, man. NO ONE."
"I just got back from dinner. I only got 5 bucks, man."
"No no no! I'm not talking about that. While I was in the hospital they told me my mother was dying. I need bus tickets to go see her. It'll be a 16 hour ride, man. It's just $16 for the tickets."
"Look, I can give you $5."
"No no no! I'm not talking about that. I NEED to see my mom, man. I got a black widow bite this big, look at this." He pulled off his shoe and I saw a big cut on his leg and a bloody sock. "It went all through my leg, and I had to go to the hospital. Now I got to see my mother immediately."
"Do you want me to show you where the bus stop is?"
"No no no! I'm not talking about that. I'm a Christian, man. I'll pay you back. Just give me your information and I'll send you a gift card on the 29th."
"Well, what do you want me to do? I can take you to an ATM..."
Why did I say this? At this point I was not even thinking. When I am talking people I do not make judgment calls about how smart the thing is that I'm saying. I'm just trying to solve a problem, or some shit like that. Anyway, now this guy lights up and jumps off of the curb. "YEAH! You'll see, I just need to borrow $21. I'm a Christian, man, you can trust me."
Somewhere in the back of my head, I make a note that this number is larger than the previous number. Barely. But now this guy is walking with me, looking for an ATM.
"The Salvation Army office doesn't open until Tuesday, and I got to see her today. My mom's the only one I got, man. Look, here's my card." He hands me a dirty businesss card he found on the street. "Here, just write down your address on this paper here and I'll send you a gift card by the 29th." Like a dope, I do so. I remind myself that my GWU dorm is behind two locked doors, and I'll be out of there by August 11. "Look, the 12 hour train ride costs $69, and the 16 hour one is $49... but I got a $20 card, see, I can pay for some of it myself." I see we're getting closer to my apartment. I look for a clearing, see if I can make a break for it. But the street is empty. It seems out of the question now.
Finally he shows me in to an ATM. "So, how much did you say this bus ticket was?" I ask nervously, quite aware that he's about to give me a huge number. "$20?"
"It's $80, man. But look, you can trust me, okay? I'll send you $100 gift card. Just check your mail on the 29th, it'll be there."
"I don't know if I can trust you, man. I don't even know if this card is yours. It doesn't have your picture on it or anything." The weakest possible argument: he is a smelly, bearded, obviously homeless man.
"Come on, man. I'm a Christian, alright? I'll get it back to you. I promise."
I look out the window. It's pitch black and there's nobody on the street. This man is bigger, and stronger, than me. I am the biggest dope in the history of mankind. I withdraw $80 and give it to him. "Okay, I trust you, man," I said, looking him in the eye. "I trust you."
This seems completely surreal, even though it only happened 40 minutes ago. It seems like a really horrible movie. I want to pretend this didn't actually happen. But yet, here is the fake business card, and here is the receipt for $80 withdrawn. I really am the worst person ever.
I walk out the door, in a hurry to get away, and he says, "Oh, and I'll need that $5. For cab fare." The guy takes my last $5 and walks calmly down the street.
I walk southwest in a daze. As soon as he is out of earshot I start yelling obscenities into the night.
EDIT I just realized the reason I was walking through DC in the dark is because I thought I could save 40 cents on train fare by walking home from a farther stop. Ahahahahahahahhahaha
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Fall River Bridge; Federal Reserve
Today I got to talk to my boss, Barney Frank, but let's start off this entry with what I saw on the House floor. We got covert intelligence that the GOP was going to disrupt the normal House proceedings, but Barney already had a major hearing scheduled. As we had worried, the GOP introduced an amendment to a transportation bill to remove funding for a bridge in Fall River that has been falling apart for 25 years. Their arguments were basically pointless. Like the Taunton Wild and Scenic scuffle from last week, the apparent aim of the amendment was to yammer about the energy crisis and natural gas and distract Barney from more important work. Barney was forced to come out of his hearings and yell at them on the House floor, which will hopefully be recorded in the Congressional Record by the end of the week.
A 15-minute vote was called and the entire House came through the doors. One Democrat traitor almost voted with the Republicans on this bill. He was constantly flipping his vote back and forth, finally falling in with the Democrats permanently after time ran out. This was Nick Lampson, Tom DeLay's replacement. He had also voted against the Democrats on the Taunton River bill.
Then, a huge surprise began to emerge. A motion to recommit is supposed to be a party line vote, but for this one, no fewer than forty-three Republicans crossed party lines, thirty-seven of them voting with the Democrats. This is pretty much unprecedented in recent Congressional history. Our staff noticed Ron Paul having a lively conversation with Barney on the floor, almost certainly about the shortcomings of the GOP. Barney came back into the office elated. A fast mood swing indeed! We were instructed to find out if this was the biggest GOP defeat of the 110th Congress, and he told us to issue a press release: "Frank and McGovern Fend Off Attacks From Republican Establishment." (Finished press release added 8/8/08)
We interns met with Barney just before wrapping up for the day, and talked for about 25 minutes. It was his impression that the GOP leadership was falling apart. He had received apologies from some of the Republicans who voted with the party line. Prominent Republicans said stuff like "they told me to vote that way and I didn't realize how awful it was." Both moderates and regular conservatives are fed up with time-wasting, partisan orders like the one that was issued today. While the party is in no danger of being destroyed, given its century-long history and deep support in conservative areas, the leadership is likely going to be completely demolished after Obama gets elected.
I was interested to know whether Barney, the chairman of the Financial Services Committee and primary overseer of Bernanke, thought the Federal Reserve needed reform. This is the organization that Ron Paul revolutionaries claim is a "private corporation" because all its shares are held by the banks. I didn't ask him point blank whether it was all just a scam and a cover-up, but he volunteered (without any questioning on my part) that the 12 Federal Reserve Banks were pretty much private banking groups run by bank presidents-- my summary, not his-- and while they didn't have a lot of power by themselves, the fact that these presidents had a say on the Federal Open Market Committee was alarming. He said that the committee had done a review of dissents at Federal Reserve meetings, and most of them (something like 25) were done by the bank presidents who wanted the interest rates to be higher. However, the fact that these are dissents and not majority opinions is also revealing. The banks only have 5 votes on a 12-vote committee, and they usually do not get their way. While they own all the "shares," the most important members of the Fed are appointed by the President and answer to the federal government, not the shareholders. Only two dissents were written by Fed governors asking for lower interest rates over the period Barney reviewed.
He pointed out some of the neat stuff on his wall. He said he was surprised how fast the gay rights movement had come so quickly. This is a guy who started working in politics in 1968, when there was no gay rights movement to speak of. Now, on his wall there was a memorial from the CIA's first gay pride parade, and same sex marriages are completely legal in his own state. He also had a picture of his mom with Tip O'Neill, a name Bostonians might be familiar with.
Got to go now, everyone's leaving for the day...
UPDATE: [In my dorm now. The microwave caught on fire so I had to use my neighbor's.] I also asked Barney about the infamous "infinite guarantee" to Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac. I didn't ask whether it was good policy; he probably didn't want to talk about all that. I asked, rather, why the Fed had the power to extend that guarantee, and whether they could do it without congressional permission. He said that the power to make these guarantees was part of a set of "emergency powers" granted in the New Deal, and Bernanke consulted him before he made the decision, with the intent of swiftly guaranteeing Fannie's & Freddie's liquidity with legislation to certify the guarantee coming later. If Congress advised Bernanke not to make the guarantee and he did it anyway, it would be technically legal, but there would be such an uproar that the "emergency powers" would likely be revoked. So, if you're looking for corruption in financial legislation, don't look to the Fed: they wouldn't be around if not for Congress. And don't look to Barney either, because he is awesome.
A 15-minute vote was called and the entire House came through the doors. One Democrat traitor almost voted with the Republicans on this bill. He was constantly flipping his vote back and forth, finally falling in with the Democrats permanently after time ran out. This was Nick Lampson, Tom DeLay's replacement. He had also voted against the Democrats on the Taunton River bill.
Then, a huge surprise began to emerge. A motion to recommit is supposed to be a party line vote, but for this one, no fewer than forty-three Republicans crossed party lines, thirty-seven of them voting with the Democrats. This is pretty much unprecedented in recent Congressional history. Our staff noticed Ron Paul having a lively conversation with Barney on the floor, almost certainly about the shortcomings of the GOP. Barney came back into the office elated. A fast mood swing indeed! We were instructed to find out if this was the biggest GOP defeat of the 110th Congress, and he told us to issue a press release: "Frank and McGovern Fend Off Attacks From Republican Establishment." (Finished press release added 8/8/08)
We interns met with Barney just before wrapping up for the day, and talked for about 25 minutes. It was his impression that the GOP leadership was falling apart. He had received apologies from some of the Republicans who voted with the party line. Prominent Republicans said stuff like "they told me to vote that way and I didn't realize how awful it was." Both moderates and regular conservatives are fed up with time-wasting, partisan orders like the one that was issued today. While the party is in no danger of being destroyed, given its century-long history and deep support in conservative areas, the leadership is likely going to be completely demolished after Obama gets elected.
I was interested to know whether Barney, the chairman of the Financial Services Committee and primary overseer of Bernanke, thought the Federal Reserve needed reform. This is the organization that Ron Paul revolutionaries claim is a "private corporation" because all its shares are held by the banks. I didn't ask him point blank whether it was all just a scam and a cover-up, but he volunteered (without any questioning on my part) that the 12 Federal Reserve Banks were pretty much private banking groups run by bank presidents-- my summary, not his-- and while they didn't have a lot of power by themselves, the fact that these presidents had a say on the Federal Open Market Committee was alarming. He said that the committee had done a review of dissents at Federal Reserve meetings, and most of them (something like 25) were done by the bank presidents who wanted the interest rates to be higher. However, the fact that these are dissents and not majority opinions is also revealing. The banks only have 5 votes on a 12-vote committee, and they usually do not get their way. While they own all the "shares," the most important members of the Fed are appointed by the President and answer to the federal government, not the shareholders. Only two dissents were written by Fed governors asking for lower interest rates over the period Barney reviewed.
He pointed out some of the neat stuff on his wall. He said he was surprised how fast the gay rights movement had come so quickly. This is a guy who started working in politics in 1968, when there was no gay rights movement to speak of. Now, on his wall there was a memorial from the CIA's first gay pride parade, and same sex marriages are completely legal in his own state. He also had a picture of his mom with Tip O'Neill, a name Bostonians might be familiar with.
Got to go now, everyone's leaving for the day...
UPDATE: [In my dorm now. The microwave caught on fire so I had to use my neighbor's.] I also asked Barney about the infamous "infinite guarantee" to Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac. I didn't ask whether it was good policy; he probably didn't want to talk about all that. I asked, rather, why the Fed had the power to extend that guarantee, and whether they could do it without congressional permission. He said that the power to make these guarantees was part of a set of "emergency powers" granted in the New Deal, and Bernanke consulted him before he made the decision, with the intent of swiftly guaranteeing Fannie's & Freddie's liquidity with legislation to certify the guarantee coming later. If Congress advised Bernanke not to make the guarantee and he did it anyway, it would be technically legal, but there would be such an uproar that the "emergency powers" would likely be revoked. So, if you're looking for corruption in financial legislation, don't look to the Fed: they wouldn't be around if not for Congress. And don't look to Barney either, because he is awesome.
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