Breakfast

We eat breakfast in silence here. Every day we have the same rice, miso soup, and tea with a Pure Land blessing. Yesterday, after saying the morning prayer, I took the opportunity to reflect on everything I was grateful for on this trip, and everyone I was grateful to for bringing me here. I thought about my parents, the opportunity to practice Buddhism, and the new friends I was making. I ate every grain of rice I was given and every slice of negi in the miso soup.

Today I was just grumpy, and the food seemed rote and unappetizing. The climate of Japan seems to lend itself to constant sleepiness, and I guess waking up at 4:30 doesn't help very much. Yesterday I drank a bottle of milk coffee to wake up, and it made me feel very faint and sick to my stomach. Today I have a headache. I'm checking up on the news I missed out on-- Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae getting bought out, Olbermann being kicked off of MSNBC due to political pressure, 600,000 citizens being denied the vote in Ohio-- and that's not making me feel too good either. And it seems like the only thing adults my age are concerned about is the "new Facebook."

It's nice that all this is happening very far away, but every day I encounter reasons to fear for the future of humanity within my own exchange group. I was in the 100-yen store the other day with of the vegetarian converts. She walked up to an employee, showed him some chopsticks, and asked him "Is this a dollar?" In English. "Is it a dollll-aaaaar?" she repeated slowly and loudly, until I ran over and translated (and converted the currency) for him. Then we went to the bookstore, where she asked in English where the dictionaries were, being greeted with more blank stares. I once again ran to her assistance and got them to show me where it was, but the just-turned-vegetarian pushed me away angrily. "I can figure it out for myself," she told me. Well. I have never before seen someone talking to people in a foreign language and assuming they understand. I've seen it as a gag in movies, but I never thought that people in real life act like that. Or, if they did, I expected that sort of behavior would be limited to silver-spoon folks whom I'd never have the displeasure of hanging out with. So no, N., I do not feel very secure in your ability to figure it out for yourself. Actually, I am kind of worried.

I'm hoping that as the weather gets colder in Japan, I will become less cloudy-headed and more attuned to my beautiful surroundings. Yes, I hope the colorful leaves will make me less judgemental. I've heard that it's a wonderful experience to watch the seasons change. In between telling us about ice cream cone wrappers and the appropriate way to put one's chopsticks on the table, our leader has explained it to us.